Friday ‘Nite: Let’s Fan-Cast The Fortnite Movie

A Fortnite movie is coming. No, that’s not an announcement, though there have been rumors of a Fortnite movie for some time now. But it’s practically a foregone conclusion that one of the biggest names in entertainment, a brand with its hand in basically every intellectual property money pit right now, from Star Wars to Marvel and much more, is going to get a movie. It’s merely a matter of time.

One could argue that a movie is an old-fashioned way of doing things. Fortnite already features some incredible cinematic live events that players can live through themselves, which ends up feeling quite like being in a Fortnite movie already. But I do think, even in this weird era for movie theaters, that a Fortnite movie would be massive. It’s important to capitalize on the game’s still sky-high popularity, lest Epic Games and partners risk launching it when the game is losing steam, like the Angry Birds Movie.

With so many crossovers and characters constantly coming to Fortnite, no doubt a Fortnite movie would be packed full of more collaborations than Ready Player One, but for this exercise, I’m going to focus just on Fortnite’s homegrown heroes and largely pull from the most important characters in Fortnite lore, such as Jonesy, Doctor Slone, and Midas. Whether it’s a live-action adaptation or an animated feature with a star-studded voice cast, here’s who I envision as the stars of the inevitable Fortnite movie.

Jonesy – Tom Holland

Holland is already the famous face of Spider-Man and Nathan Drake on the big screen, but if you think he can’t also play the main character of the Fortnite movie, I’d have to guess you haven’t heard what Chris Pratt’s been up to. Holland suits Jonesy’s mix of a young everyman with some jokey reluctant hero tropes that he’s already doing well in his other movies. As with his role as Drake, he’s also young enough to play Jonesy for the years of sequels to come.

The Foundation – The Rock

No need to get cute here. The Rock is already playing the muscular leader of The Seven in Fortnite, and there’s every reason to think he’d fulfill that role in the movie version too. The Rock has star power like few others, appealing to both kids and adults dating back to his WWF days. It’s a shine he’s never really lost, and he’d play off of Holland perfectly in the same buddy-cop way that The Foundation and Jonesy already do in the game.

Doctor Slone – Jasmin Savoy Brown

Jasmine Savoy Brown’s last half-decade has seen her catapulted into the upper echelon of young stars, and hers is a star still rising. She’s already flexed her ability to play complicated morally dubious characters in projects like The Leftovers, Scream, and Yellowjackets, so she’d fit right in as the probably evil, but maybe misunderstood Doctor Slone.

The Cube Queen – Carrie-Anne Moss

Coming off back-to-back high-profile roles in The Matrix Resurrections and Horizon Forbidden West, Carrie Ann Moss makes a lot of sense as the formidable Cube Queen. This is a character who may not appear in the first Fortnite movie, assuming it rehashes the story to a predictable degree, but Moss would make for a big name attached to the sequel in the way studios love to do, and she’s got the commanding energy the Cube Queen demands.

Midas – Oscar Isaac

One thing Epic got wrong about Midas, in my opinion, is that he’s meant to be Jules’ dad, but the two characters look nearly the same age. If the movie was live-action, that could be fixed by casting an older actor, but still someone who feels dripping with style and dangerous allure. Of course, I’m speaking of Oscar Isaac. He’s the perfect age and would bring his soon-to-be-earned Marvel fandom with him.

Jules – Ariana Grande

This would be fun for a few reasons. For one, Grande is starting to try acting, as seen in Netflix’s Don’t Look Up recently. But more than that, Grande is already a big name in Fortnite thanks to her Rift Tour concert in the summer of 2021. For Grande to show up in the Fortnite movie as a character created by Epic would be a fun nod to the game’s own internal history, not to mention Grande is a few fake tattoos away from resembling Jules pretty closely.

The Paradigm – Mackenzie Davis

At the time of writing this, Epic is still drip-feeding us story about why The Paradigm was cast out of The Seven (and why the group may now be considering bringing her back). It seems like the writers have big, big plans for this mysterious hero, and if that translates to the movie, you’ll need a rising star to fill the role. After nailing it in things like Black Mirror and Station Eleven, I love Mackenzie Davis for this role. She’s believable as a hero with a checkered past, which seems to be who Epic is telling us The Paradigm is.

The Scientist – Joel McHale

Like The Foundation, The Scientist’s in-game voice actor could comfortably slide into the movie role just as well. Joel McHale has done a great job as The Scientist, bringing a comic relief character to the story that, while colorful and silly in general, tends to be about the universe collapsing in on itself when you really get down to the details. He’s basically playing Jeff Winger from Community–but isn’t he always? As sardonic as ever, McHale has the right amount of star power to fill out this cast.

Peely – Donald Glover

Look, if we’re not gonna get the Community movie, then I’m using this as my own personal wishing well to reunite at least some of the cast in something. Glover has incredible comedic chops and would obviously kill it as the Fortnite world’s anthropomorphic banana. Plus he’d do wonders with the eventual dancing banana segment that you’ve gotta know makes the final cut of any Fortnite movie. While we’re at it, let’s get Danny Pudi on the fitness fast-track to play Meowscles, Midas’ buff cat, too.

The Fortnite universe is massive, so this is only a main cast, more or less. Who else would you like to see in an eventual Fortnite movie? If you like this sort of thing, join me every week for my weekly column dedicated to the Fortnite storyline, Friday ‘Nite.

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