If thoughts of a pandemic winter have been on your mind since July, you’re not unreasonable. Not only was this summer marked by a global pandemic, economic anxieties, and civil unrest—you’ve probably had to manage all of these things without a lot of your pre-pandemic coping strategies. You might’ve limited summer travel, spent way more time at home, and relegated your social life to distanced outdoor hangs. Still—even with major barriers in place—summer did give us the opportunity to do more than we’ve been able to over the last few months. Looking ahead toward winter might seem bleak in comparison.
“A lot of fear and anxiety for winter is connected to the coronavirus,” Vernessa Roberts, Psy.D., a counseling psychologist, tells SELF. “Right now, the outdoors are all we have, and when the weather changes, being outdoors [can become] less enjoyable.”
It’s safe to say that there will probably be difficult months ahead. A lot of your socializing will probably be online instead of IRL. Even the thought of limited holiday travel and canceled plans might make you feel lonely. Plus, winter was already a difficult time for many of us before the pandemic, especially if you live with seasonal depression or other depressive symptoms.
So if you’re finding it hard to enjoy your pumpkin spice lattes and chunky sweaters, you’re not alone. Below you’ll find tips from therapists to help you manage your pre-winter apprehension—while you make the most of spooky season and beyond.
1. Make a coping plan now, well in advance of when you’ll actually need it.
“When you’re stressed, you might think there’s only a certain solution to a problem, and when you’re not stressed, you might see many solutions,” Marisa G. Franco, Ph.D., counseling psychologist and friendship expert, tells SELF. So it’s actually useful to think about how you’ll approach the colder months now. “When you think about things in advance—scheduling them and planning for the obstacles that are going to come up—you’re more likely to engage in that behavior [when the time comes].” So even though you might feel silly worrying about seeing friends in January while it’s still (sort of) warm out, it’s worthwhile to think through how you’re going to cope when the weather turns frigid.
If you feel like you’re going to be starved for IRL human interaction, make sure you have really solid warm-weather gear (hats, scarves, gloves, boots, and coats) so that you can take distanced walks with friends when it’s cold out. Or schedule a recurring weekly Zoom dinner party starting with the winter solstice, and get it on everyone’s calendars now. If you have outdoor space, Franco suggests that you and a few of your faves can invest in an outdoor heating lamp so that you can hang out in a backyard when the weather turns.
If you’re worried about potentially spending the holidays alone, see if you can find friends or family members who will agree to a two-week quarantine in advance of the holidays so that you can spend them safely together. Or, if you’re pretty sure that this winter means you’ll be hunkering down alone, it could be time to explore fostering a pet. No matter what you decide, the key is to brainstorm solutions and workarounds before you need them. This will help make your pandemic winter a bit easier, and will also give you a bit more peace of mind now.
2. Take stock of the habits and practices that helped back in the spring.
Even though the thought of facing another few months inside might seem scary, remember that you’ve done it before. Yes, that might sound like the exact reason you’re nervous, but hear me out: Last March, you didn’t quite know what to expect. This time, even if you’re afraid of the uncertainty, you’ve already learned so much about how to survive. “Remember the routines that have been helpful, and those that have not been so helpful,” Roberts explains. Think about all of the small things that helped you feel normal over the last few months. You can write them down so your best practices are in one place that you can return to when you’re feeling anxious.
3. Remember to enjoy the present moment too.
Planning is useful, but make sure that you’re not so focused on the winter that you miss out on the fall. “We cannot predict what the following weeks will bring,” Roberts says. “Focus on the present, and most importantly, continue focusing on yourself.” The easiest way to figure out whether or not you’re striking the right balance is to examine your thoughts: If you’ve spent more time worrying about the future than enjoying the things you’re going to miss, it’s time to make some mental adjustments while you can still comfortably see loved ones outside (at a safe distance).
4. Talk about your concerns with friends and loved ones.
Talking about your nervousness (and being specific about challenges you faced last spring) might come up naturally as you’re brainstorming winter hangouts with friends and loved ones. But if you haven’t yet shared your concerns with people in your life, you don’t have to process what you’re feeling alone. “Authenticity is the antidote to loneliness,” Franco previously told SELF. And while you might not be lonely, sharing yourself authentically—your difficulties, fears, and struggles about the upcoming season—can remind you that you’re not nearly as isolated as the winter might make you feel. Besides, you could discover that your loved ones are worried too, and you can work on brainstorming solutions together.
5. Reach out and get professional support if you need it.
Maybe the upcoming change in seasons is bringing up major emotions, interfering with your sleep, or just making your life more difficult. It’s totally reasonable to connect with a mental health professional about what you’re feeling. Talking to a therapist can help normalize some of what you’re feeling and help you come up with concrete strategies for managing some of the emotions that are arising. ”We all have been completely shaken by this year,” Roberts explains. “And we all deserve to show ourselves care and compassion.”