In a new episode of the Apple+ docuseries The Me You Can’t See, Prince Harry speaks openly about his mental health, the trauma of his mother’s death, and how his wife, Meghan Markle, convinced him to start going to therapy.
The Duke of Sussex started therapy four years ago “to heal myself from the past,” he told Oprah Winfrey, per Access. (The two executive produce the show together.) After meeting Markle, Harry said he quickly established that if this relationship was going to work, “I had to deal with my past because there was anger there. And it wasn’t anger at her, it was just anger, and she recognized it.”
In particular, he recognized the need for therapy when Markle suggested it after the two had an argument. “When she said, ‘I think you need to see someone,’ it was in reaction to an argument that we had,” he said, per Elle. Looking back on the argument now, he recognized that he was likely “reverting back to 12-year-old Harry,” the age at which he lost his mother, Princess Diana, in 1997.
Therapy allowed Harry to finally process the grief and anger he felt after that loss. “When my mum was taken away from me at the age of 12, I didn’t want the [royal] life,” he said. “I was so angry with what happened to her and the fact that there was no justice at all, nothing came from that.” At her funeral, Harry says that he and his brother, Prince William, were in shock. “I was outside of my body, just walking along doing what was expected of me.”
He also recalled using drugs and alcohol to help cope with the feelings he still had yet to fully process after Diana’s death. “From 28 to 32 was a nightmare time in my life,” he said. “I would find myself drinking not because I was enjoying it, but because I was trying to mask something.”
In the show, Harry undergoes eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy (EMDR), which typically involves the patient engaging in a sensory task (like following a light with their eyes) while recalling a traumatic experience. Some people may prefer to tap their fingers or hands in a specific way, like Harry does in the docuseries, or listen to certain auditory cues. This type of therapy is particularly helpful for managing posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Now, Harry said he feels more at peace with his life—and the memory of his mother. “I’m living the life that she wanted to live for herself, the life that she wanted us to be able to live,” he said. “Not only do I know that she’s incredibly proud of me, but that she’s helped me get here.”
Related:
- Prince Harry Says He Came Close to a ‘Breakdown’ on Several Occasions—What You Should Know
- Meghan Markle Says She Had Suicidal Thoughts—And Was Denied Help
- How ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ Got That EMDR Therapy Episode So Right