I Had an Abortion Simply Because I Wasn’t Ready. That’s Enough.

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And that brings me back to my knee and this bad hip. The hips and feet are major shock absorbers. When I did things like jump and land, my hips didn’t engage and my knee took my full weight, leaving me in need of ACL reconstructive surgery. But when I look at my beautiful son, I know I wouldn’t change a thing—especially the part about when I had him. I was age 35, had a steady income, was married to his father, whom I love, and I felt ready to take on that sacred role of mother. That hadn’t always been the case.

I first became pregnant with my then-boyfriend, now-husband, two years into our relationship. We lived together and were committed, but neither one of us was ready for parenthood. One day while working as a guest star on Killer Women, I had this weird headache and felt really tired. I asked the driver to stop at a CVS on the way to set and picked up Advil and a pregnancy test. I went through hair and makeup, went to my trailer to change, took the test, and confirmed I was indeed pregnant.

I took a breath and called Chris. I could hear the panic in his voice, but I quickly allayed his fears. I had already called a private abortion clinic and booked my appointment. I knew we weren’t ready, and I knew I wasn’t ready. Ironically, I got a call that day to test for a show where women couldn’t become pregnant. I auditioned in front of Warner Bros executives, producers, and the director, and booked that pilot while pregnant.

At age 32, my abortion gave me choice, autonomy over my own body, and opportunities in my career.

People have abortions for many reasons. In my case, I simply wasn’t ready. That’s it, and that’s good enough. I didn’t want to be a mother at that moment in my life, so I made a decision that was best for me and my relationship. I could afford to have that abortion. I also had the means to start my family without skipping a beat in my career. Millions of women do not have those luxuries, with many being forced into a situation they don’t want and are not ready for.

The truth is that banning abortion will not stop abortion, it just makes already vulnerable people’s lives more difficult. It stops safe abortion because, rest assured, wealthy people will still have access to abortion services. It is the poor who suffer. It is those people already struggling who will bear the brunt of archaic legislation and fake cries of “pro-life.” At the very same time that the Texas anti-abortion bill was passed, legislators in that state made it easier to buy a gun and harder to vote.

In a country like the United States, with poor health care, no federally mandated maternity leave, and women still fighting for equal pay and adequate childcare support, how dare anyone question a woman’s right to choose what’s best for her and her life?

I am a few weeks out of my ACL surgery. I am off crutches and pain meds. I’ve auditioned, taken meetings, and have already started physiotherapy. Knowing my body, I’ll soon be back doing stunt work and working out at the level I’m used to. I’ll push through the way I always do and I will continue to speak up and fight for women to have autonomy over their bodies. I will support those who decide to carry to term and those who don’t. And I will fight to ensure we are treated as more than just “host bodies” in every aspect of society.

To my son, Kingston: I love you. I chose to have you when I was ready. And it’s the best decision I’ve ever made.

Related:

  • Uma Thurman Revealed She Had an Abortion as a Teenager: ‘I Have No Regrets for the Path I’ve Traveled’
  • The Texas Abortion Ban Might Be the First, But It Won’t Be the Last
  • Cori Bush and Other Congresswomen Shared Their Abortion Stories in an Official Testimony

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